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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960333">Same Kind Of Different</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646'>Charlie9646</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Angst, Depression, F/M, Friends to Lovers, HEA, M/M, Mental Illness, Past Relationship(s), Severus Snape Lives, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Male Character, Transfiguration (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:48:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione only wanted the best for her child and will do anything, anything even break a stupid law to save them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Rose Weasley/Scorpius Malfoy, past Hermione Granger/ Ron Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>2020 DBQ Round One: Transfiguration</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Same Kind Of Different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DBQ2020Round1">DBQ2020Round1</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me but are the property of J.K.R. and Warner Bros. No copyright infringement is intended. The theme for this round of the competition was Transfiguration and my chosen pairing was Severus Snape/Hermione Granger .Comments/Reviews are encouraged by The Slytherin Cabal's Admin Team on all stories in Death By Quill, but comments left by readers are set to be moderated by story authors until the end of the competition in order to protect participants' anonymity. Thank you to my beta for their time and help."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hermione could not sleep— haunted by the what-ifs. Should she? Or should she not? The letter McGonagall had sent her rested on the sheet beside her; it taunted her.  It may as well have been made of fiendfyre— as it ripped through her mind, heart, and soul.</p><p> </p><p>Was this the right thing for her child, or would this only make matters worse? </p><p> </p><p>Rose had tried to kill herself. Bloody kill herself! Hermione’s eleven-year-old stared up at her with the bright blue eyes in the hospital bed of St Mungos and snarled, “I wish I were dead.”</p><p> </p><p>Harry always called her the bulldozer. It was a nickname she detested, but she needed to be the bulldozer with her child.  Rose stared sharply and refused to speak another word. Her child, imprisoned in her own tortured mind. </p><p> </p><p>The mind healers got her child to speak to them, and then later to Hermione herself. There was nothing that they could do to fix Rose— gender dysphoria labeled the parchment they handed her. They had no suggestions besides potions for the depression, and what she could swear was functionally suppression therapy. Conversion therapy was the term they used. </p><p> </p><p>A young meditwitch pulled her aside; healer Brenden was the name on her badge. “I shouldn't tell you this, Mrs. Weasley, but I like you am a muggleborn, muggles have better options than us for this condition.” Whispered the healer, her face fraught with fear of being caught.</p><p> </p><p>“Though there are whispers of Transfiguration experts who have spells to assist children like yours. The headmistress might be able to help you. Do not follow the healers suggestions; they killed my childhood friend with their actions when he was your child’s age.” The woman’s blue eyes filled with unshed tears. </p><p> </p><p>”I must attend to other patients, but Hermione, I implore you to listen to me.”</p><p> </p><p>So, Hermione did all that she could do. She took Rose home and sent a letter to Minerva. The message she received in return stated that her former professor would happily speak to her favorite pupil, but her best option was to talk to Severus Snape, he was the foremost expert on the subject. </p><p> </p><p>Severus Snape had barely survived the final battle. The bloody snake had ripped apart his throat. He hid in plain sight. Hermione had always wondered why, maybe this was the reason. </p><p> </p><p>As it stood, she would floo call the headmistress in the morning and set up a meeting. Hermione would do anything to help her child. Rose was her last living piece of Ron and her reason for living.</p><p> </p><p>             </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hermione sat in the office of Minerva McGonagall; it felt familiar and slightly different. Gone were Dumbledore’s trinkets, and the box of lemon drops. The room was sparse, a wooden desk, a chair in front Hermione that sat in, one next to her, and the one Minerva did herself. The primary color in the room was evergreen.</p><p> </p><p>Her former head of house pushed up her glasses on her narrow nose and said, ”Hermione, as I told you in the letter, Mr. Snape, is your best bet for this.”</p><p> </p><p>”Why is that professor?” asked Hermione as she gripped the leg of her slacks, trying her best to ignore the feeling of wanting to jump out of her skin. ”Professor Snape is who I would seek out for a variety of things— this is not one I would assume.”</p><p> </p><p>”It is not my place to explain why you must speak to him,” said Minerva, her tone sharp. ”But I do believe with this— he may be far more helpful than he usually is, or at least I hope.”</p><p> </p><p>”He’s Snape; he's about as helpful as a viper in the grass.” </p><p> </p><p>Hermione sharply turned as she heard the door of the headmistress’s office open.  Severus stood there the same black robes, white collared shirt under it. His hair was not as greasy as it once was— though now it was streaked with grey. His eyes, though, were still the same— deep dark black pools. They were dangerous— she thought they still held the cruelty that haunted them before, but that could just be her imagination. </p><p> </p><p>”Mrs. Weasley, I can help you because, unlike Minerva, I have experienced the spells— first hand.” He said in a bored tone as if he was talking about the weather. ”They are also illegal— though they should not be.”</p><p> </p><p>He stalked over to the chair next to her. Severus stared straight ahead, ignoring her, but Hermione could not help but look at him. His pale ivory skin, his hooked nose, the small amount of stubble. This man could not be like her child. This man could not have once been someone’s daughter.</p><p> </p><p>“As I said, it is Severus’s place to speak— about himself,” Minerva responded, her brown eyes reassuring. “Severus, go on and explain what you can do to help Rose.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mrs. Weasley, your options are quite simple, the muggle option, the healer’s option, which I do not recommend. Or mine. The spells must be done regularly as he ages. They are also reversible if you fear that he may change his mind.”  His pale hands rested on his lap. Long spindly fingers, scarred. Hermione thought there was something beautiful about his hands; she wondered if they were soft or calloused.</p><p> </p><p>”Mrs. Weasley!” The potion’s master snapped. ”I asked, are you able to accept that this will change your child’s life, but he will live.”</p><p> </p><p>”Do not be so hard on her, Severus, it is a lot to take in...” lectured Minerva. She had, after all, been both of their professors.  She took off her glasses and added, ”This is normal to you, Severus, and even to a point to me, but that is not the case for Hermione.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus cleared his throat and said, ”Weasley talk to your child, make sure that this is what he wants. If it is, you can come to my shop in Edinburgh, here is the address.”</p><p> </p><p>Hermione took the piece of paper and shoved it into her coat pocket. It might merely be a useless conversation if Rose did not wish to do anything— though after a few days ago, she doubted that would be the case. </p><p> </p><p>                   </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Rose sat on the window bench in her room. Hermione just stared at her child for a few moments. Her hair was a shocking Weasley red, though curly like her own, her eyes an ocean blue. She looked like her father—like Ron—the man who had died before she was born. Rose ignored her, focused on her book. </p><p> </p><p>”Sweetheart?” said Hermione, she yearned for an honest conversation. ”Can we talk about what happened, and what we can do about it?”</p><p> </p><p>”There is nothing we can do about it,” snapped the child as she slammed the book in her lap shut.</p><p> </p><p>Hermione approached her and brushed a curl from Rose’s face, ”Yes, there is if you want it. Though I should ask you what you want me to call you.”</p><p> </p><p>”River, I want to be called River, ” said the child.</p><p> </p><p>”River, someone wants to help you to become a boy.”</p><p> </p><p>River rolled his eyes and snapped, ”I am already a boy.” He gazed out the window and watched the storm that was just creeping over the horizon. ”Mum, please just spit it out.”</p><p> </p><p>Hermione knew in her heart that this would change everything—her life— but most of all, her child’s life. </p><p> </p><p>”My former professor is like you and is willing to help you.” Said Hermione, with much hesitation.  </p><p> </p><p>River asked, ”Who and when?” with far more happiness than her son had experienced in a rather long time.</p><p> </p><p>           </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Severus scrubbed the counter of his shop. He did not know why he was doing this,; he should send Mrs. Weasley/Granger or whatever else you wanted to call her to another expert one in Europe. He should recommend someone else to help the mother and her son. It wasn't illegal there, and there were far more people who could do it. </p><p> </p><p>But Severus could not bring himself to do that. He did not know why, but for once in his life, he wanted to do something good. Something that would make him worthy of forgiveness. Though it mostly had to do with him wanting to pay back the woman who had saved his life. Hermione Jean, whatever it was, was the reason he was alive today. </p><p> </p><p>There was a time when Severus had hated her for such a fact. Loathed that she remembered that he was there, bleeding out on the dirt floor of the wretched shack. Fred Weasley was the one to fetch him. Severus had planned to die that day— but die he did not. </p><p> </p><p>He escaped the pain that was Hogwarts. But he also left the location where it still could feel as if Lily could walk through the doors, a place he could swear sometimes he could even imagine her voice. Her laughter had once filled those walls. Severus had many reasons to leave and not return the castle; there was a stack of them. </p><p> </p><p>He hated his students— the horrible brats with their snide comments. Teaching itself was not for his temperament, though that mostly had to do with who he was teaching. His colleagues would never speak it— but they were happy to see him gone. They could not trust him again after what happened. It did not matter that Dumbledore had been the architect of his actions; Severus was still the one who did them. He could see it in their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>But, the truth was, what sent him running had little do with the war or even his fellow professors Rita Skeeter found out what he was. And the bug-like woman threatened to out him as a trans man. If she had done so, he would never be able to teach again, not that he wanted to. But, he also would not be able to have any other job or own his potion shop, which was what he was doing now. </p><p> </p><p>Severus sighed, and in the candlelight, he waited. Severus waited for either a customer to come in or Hermione with her son. He was turning fifty next year— it was a strange feeling to know that. Severus had barely lived, barely done anything that made him feel alive. Severus was snapped out of his thoughts by the bells on his door ringing— “hello,” he said softly.</p><p> </p><p>Hermione stood there; her son pressed tightly to her side. His hair was Weasley red, curly, and cropped short. </p><p> </p><p>The mother said, ”Severus, this is River, my son. The boy I told you about.”</p><p> </p><p>”Hello, Mr. Snape, mum told me you could help me?” Said the boy his blue eyes full of intelligence, that someone of his age should not have. ”That you are like me?”</p><p> </p><p>Severus grabbed something to chop to try to distract himself, ”I am, like you.”</p><p> </p><p>”But... You look like a man!” Cried boy, his blue eyes turned into the size of saucers. “How do you look like a man?”</p><p> </p><p>He knew the boy’s real question was, how do I become a man? Less so than how did you become one. ”A friend of mine introduced me to a man who was like us when I was a child. He helped me, as I will help you if you would like me to.”</p><p> </p><p>River pulled away from his mother and stood straight. He tilted his chin up and gazed up at the former professor, ”I would like you to help me. I want you to fix me. To make me as I should have been, to become what I truly am.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus said, ”Mrs. Weasley, do you agree to allow me to perform the spells? The start of them?”</p><p> </p><p>”I will,” said Hermione, her eyes boring into his. “I will watch it, though. Not because I don't trust you, but...”</p><p> </p><p>”Hermione Granger, he is your child. I would not expect anything less.” Severus said, ”And beyond that, I wouldn't trust me either. I accept what I have done makes me untrustworthy, and nothing I can do will ever change that.”</p><p> </p><p>                 </p>
<hr/><p>The magic was simple, though a little bit painful from what Severus remembered it to be like pinpricks— not the cruciatus curse. He twisted his hands into his robes. Hermione sat in the far corner, her son in front of him. River with his short-cropped curls, and his sour expression. He reminded Severus of himself all those years ago. </p><p> </p><p>He held out his wand and muttered the spell, ”verto indeceo. I will have to do this once a week until you stop growing River, and then you can learn it yourself when you're older.”</p><p> </p><p>Nothing seemed to happen as it should. Overlooked things, Severus vaguely knew that little details the human eye could not see were different. Over time the boy’s voice would drop, his chin would grow stubble, his body would not gain a feminine appearance to it. He would become taller than he would without the spells. </p><p> </p><p>Time passed quickly for the three people in this room. Severus did his best to allow his heart to open, Hermione grieved for the loss her husband, but also the daughter she thought she had. River started over the years to look less like a boy and more like a man. He did well in his classes, he was sorted into Slytherin, he laughed, he played, and he learned. Gone was the cloud over his life— he was like any other boy. He even became head boy in his seventh year, the first Slytherin Weasley, was also the first Slytherin head boy in decades. </p><p> </p><p>Severus and Hermione were proud of him— no matter what other people said in hushed whispers, all that mattered was River was happy and alive.  </p><p> </p><p>             </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>River came running into Severus’s shop. The young man was like a son to him—the closest thing he ever would have. They were not bound together by blood, but magic. Some people turned into animals thanks to Transfiguration, but they became the people they were always supposed to be. The same magic that allowed Potter to turn into a stag was the same that allowed them to be their true selves. </p><p> </p><p>But unlike turning into a dog or a cat, the magic of becoming yourself, but different, had to change and grow with you. It wasn't like twisting a teapot into a rat or back again. It was slow and had to be as the person aged. It had once long ago bound him to Lucius Malfoy; the man hired a wizard to help his classmate. He did not want to lose the ground he had gained or worst— to be in-between genders. Some people wanted that, but it was not what Severus had desired.</p><p> </p><p>The man knew how to buy loyalty, and Severus had promised himself if he ever helped someone like himself, he would never do such a thing. A child deserved better than that. </p><p> </p><p>”How was your year Severus?” asked River. </p><p> </p><p>”Same as it was in my letter last week.” He said with a smile. ”Though I was wondering if you had decided what you want to do with your life?”</p><p> </p><p>The young man tangled a freckled hand into his too-long hair, ”I want to help people like us, which means going into Transfigurations.”</p><p> </p><p>”I think that's a wonderful thing, River.” </p><p> </p><p>”Sev, you're just mad I am not following in your footsteps.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighed and sat down on a stool, ”River, you're like a son to me. I have grown to care for both you and your mother over the years. I am more shocked you're not following in your father’s footsteps more than anything.”</p><p> </p><p>The young man smiled, ”Severus, I want to help people— not hurt them. Scorpius is going to become a mind healer; we are thinking of setting up a clinic. To help people like us. Since mum bulldozed, the laws changed.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus laughed, ”That's a fascinating way to put what she has done. And your father did save a ton of people in the accident.”</p><p> </p><p>”You know it's true, though,” laughed River; then, he became somber. ”And I do know that, but it's still not for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus held his hands up and said, ”I will never say such a thing to your mother. I happen to value my life, even if you do not.”</p><p> </p><p>”By the way, my mum thinks you sent her a letter asking her if she wanted to go on a date. I know both of you are far too stuck in your heads to realize what's right in front of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus’s mouth gaped open, and then he shut it. The boy had a point, even if the former professor wouldn't admit it. Neither Hermione or Severus himself saw themselves clearly or that they were worthy of love. So he said, ”Where am I taking your mother, then?”</p><p> </p><p>River smiled with the joy of knowing he had gotten his way, ”Maria’s, the muggle Italian place you both love.”</p><p> </p><p>Severus thought to himself Weasleys, they all were the same—troublemakers—though that one meant the world to him, as did Hermione. The boy was giving the kick in the pants they needed. </p><p> </p><p>Severus later that evening kissed the witch in the rain after dinner— with the taste of red wine on her lips. Severus thought to himself he may have helped the boy who became like a son to him become himself, but the boy helped Severus become a better version of himself. If he had to do it all over again to get this moment in time, he would. Transfiguration was about becoming something new, just like a Phoenix. From the ashes, you can rise and begin again. </p><p><br/>
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